Image courtesy IMDB
Last night I finally saw Lisa Cholodenko and Stuart Blumberg’s “The Kids Are All Right,” (2010) a funny, well-told and adeptly acted story about family and marriage and social issues that tend to arise in modern day America, specifically, in places like California. (I don’t think these issues are playing out much in ‘the middle’ of the U.S.)
The central issue of the film is that two married women, Nic, a Type-A OB/GYN, and Jules, a trained architect who dabbles in entrepreneurial projects, have two children through artificial insemination.
Joni, Nic’s birth-daughter, is intelligent and disciplined. Laser, Jules’ birth-son, is easily influenced by his peers. While “the moms” have long told the children about their conceptions, there is no desire on the moms’ part to revisit this part of their family’s history (or ‘herstory’ as it were).
As the film opens, the kids are at the age where they are rebelling and getting sick of the smother of two (loving) mothers. Laser and his friend Clay spend their downtime snorting uppers, wrestling, jumping skateboards off of garages and basically acting like jerks.
Laser thinks Clay is cool, the moms, particularly Nic, hate him. However, they also wonder, dare I say fear, that the relationship between Laser and Clay is sexual. They can’t think of any other explanation as to why Laser would spend so much time with this waste of space. It is mildly surprising that the moms are worried that Laser might be gay since they are grounded in their own sexuality. The speech they give him is pretty much the same speech any liberal straight couple would give their own son or daughter whom they thought might be gay, and then they exhibit relief when he tells them that he is not. (Perhaps the relief is related to the fact that Clay is so unsuitable as a love interest for any human?)
Joni, named for and who resembles a young Joni Mitchell, is not a rebel, but she is starting to feel the tension of wanting to make her own decisions and the reality that she will be doing so in a month occurs to her faster than to her moms, chiefly, to Nic, her birth-mom.
Nic, who is the bread-winner, and who Jules thinks likes to be in control, is the more overbearing (and responsible) of the two parents. Jules is a bit younger, prettier and softer and has assumed the role of mid-century American WASP wife: an educated but stay-at-home mom who brings up babies and is there for the spouse with the power job. Nic’s drinking, while not violent, is wedging a space between her and Jules, who wants to start a new business and do something for herself with her talents and skills. Nic pecks at the members of the family to remember to do things like write thank you notes and birthday cards to grandpa; the more she harps the less they want to be around her. Jules is needing some TLC from her partner, and is not getting much warmth, just criticism and nagging. When Nic does dote on her, it gets interrupted by work and Jules feels left in the cold.
Making the Call
When Joni turns 18, Laser begs her to ‘make the call’ to the cryobank as she is legally of age to initiate contact with the donor. She is uninterested, and particularly worried about upsetting the moms, but realizing that she will soon leave Laser on his own, and that he seems to be at an age where he really needs contact with a father-type, relents.
At their first meeting, Joni and Laser don’t have too much to say to Paul, their biological father. However, he is excited and grateful that they have reached out to him and asks them about themselves and wants to stay in touch.
Laser seems unphased by the meeting; Joni surprises him by admitting that she would like to see Paul again when the two kids admit to their moms that the meeting occurred. Laser seems dispassionate and didn’t feel like a connection was there. And while Joni may be reacting to her father’s obvious charisma, she is definitely reacting to his freedom of choice, his unplanned life — something she hasn’t experienced for herself but now knows may be in her blood, too.
A self-proclaimed, “do-er,” who quit college, learned on the job and who is nearing 50 with a good life but no one significant in it, Paul finds the whole enterprise amusing and something to think about. Eventually he breaks it off with the uber-sexy restaurant hostess who works for him, telling her that he wants to settle down with someone and have a family; this is one of the most poignant and telling moments in the movie. He writes her off without ever even asking her if she wants to date him seriously. She realizes that their relationship to date, while playful, has just been about sex and is incredibly insulted, despite her participation in the flirtation for fun’s sake. This moment lends insight into Paul’s true character as an opportunist. Nic will later call him something else (which I won’t spoil) that more accurately describes his behavior and role in their lives.
Over time, Joni and Paul form a connection and he is genuinely interested in her well-being and in having her in his life. Paul and Laser also spend time together, Paul wishing that it was just the two of them when Laser invites the cro magnon Clay along. Paul later tells Laser that he thinks that Clay is no good, echoing the moms’ sentiment, and Laser continues to defend his friend until a fateful moment when the parents’ collective advice sinks in and Laser realizes that Clay is not good for him. This is one of the only real growth moments for Laser in the film. As a viewer, I wanted more from his character — the story sort of keeps him at bay when as the lone male in the family, his growth might be most affected by the influence of Paul.
To Joni’s surprise, Paul, the sex-on-wheels bachelor who owns a hip restaurant and organic co-op close-by, is a welcome addition to her life. Paul rides a motorcycle, and in classic movie storytelling parlance, the moms strictly forbid the riding of motorcycles. The image of the still virginal Joni riding on the back of this macho machine with this hot guy is the type of scene usually reserved for imminent loss of innocence. Because this scene involves a father and a daughter, the symbolism could be construed as Oedipal. However, I think that the more interesting reading is that Joni is recognizing through Paul that she could have a passionate, spirited life, too. Unlike her friend, who does think Paul is hot, Joni is grossed out, appropriately, by that thought and instead turns her sexual energy toward a good male friend of hers whom she has had a crush on for a while, but who hasn’t made a move. That episode doesn’t really turn out successfully, however, it was a first step for her of a sort, to have made the first move.
Here Comes Trouble (Not quite a spoiler!)
The climax of the film lies in a relationship that emerges between Jules and Paul and how this situation reflects what is going on in Jules and Nic’s relationship, in Paul’s own life and for the kids. Everyone’s lives get turned upside down, and despite the title of the film, the issues seem to affect the adults in the story more than the kids.
Joni is really hurt and disappointed by what happens. Laser seems concerned but more so for the future of his moms’ marriage than by the conflict at hand. The film ends without letting on whether or not the kids are really all right, whether they will continue their relationship with Paul outside of the family circle, and what impact this turn of events has made on them as individuals. I guess the title is telling us that they turn out ok, but I would have liked a few more hints as to what the future holds.
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“The Kids Are All Right,” (2010) was released in the U.S. on July 30 and stars Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson.
